Sorry guys but if you want to read the article on Pete Wentz, you will have to go to the OUT magazine site. I made a mistake and printed the whole article which is not allowed and they have a right to say no to anyone posting it! I am respecting them and Buzznet and taking it down and replacing it with this. Everyone was very polite about it and I appreciate that! We all make mistakes and so I apologize to OUT and Buzznet for not checking more thoroughly into the copy write laws and how they apply on the Internet (I should have posted PARTS ,Quotes, and bits and pieces with a LINK and not the entire article,even if I did have OUT on all of it) IT was my mistake!
I do suggest looking into this magazine as it encompasses many facets of the gay community and has fantastic articles and writers.They have everything from rock to fine dining and fashion. OUT magazine has been around for quite some time and ,gay or a supporter of the gay community, I think it is a wonderful magazine that covers many areas of life and the spirit of the gay community. The Pete Wentz article is just one of many great articles to read so do check it out! Thanks for understanding!
I wake up ...No one..no human or mundane in my home..If you look at my door it is guarded by sigils and old archic symbols as Lees's door is, other than a change,as you can see to the uppser left (the wired a with a circle and the glyph before it) NO entitety other then the few that we, I...pay homage to ,rituals to, give blessing and sacrifices to, other things to, are allowed by majic passed this door! (sorry I am shaking and who the fuck to call at 2:22 am..oh fuck..another 3's) So, as you can see, NOTHING "supernatural, preteranatural or even afraid human too can get in. SEE? I have sigils carved in places on door jams and on corners,in brick..etc around the house! . This is a serious door for some serious majic and I felt safe! Untill tonight-- l
So we just moved one of my Gods, a statue that is very energy filled, to my house for a few months until the new gallery opens on Broadway (not that one) The street! It is about 4 //2 + feet as He ,Pan, sprawls out. OK, this sexual God has been through many rituals, Esbats,full moons and sex majic rituals(not what you think OK) That is why THIS ONE will not be sold but Ed H. will make another for buyers. So, now this big fucker is in MY house.I am alone, Breanna is at a friends and all is quite. I fall asleep after a solitary ritual and medatation and thought all was well. .WTF? I feel the weirdiest dream come upon me and I can see the ceiling through my eyelids and it feels like fire in my blood. Kinda like after you go down a very steep hill on a rollercoater or a shot of Ozou , somthing like that! I KNOW my body is asleep because I will,you know, with my mind, my arm and toes to move and nothing happens. I do not panic but I SWEAR I hear the weirdest music and I am thinking right off..."Fucking nudist next door.he and his boyfriend are dancing nude with the vacume cleaner again" (long funny story) That music was ok,I'm just going to say it..unearthly. I am getting a bit freaked! Ok, but wait..that is NOT normal. My ears feel closed like I have water after swimming in them .I am starting to get a little afraid because of the weird majic that has been done in my house recently and that is not lost in my thoughts.I swear I than hear WHISPERING and fuck if I understand a word but it makes me feel calm,like a shot of dope or pain killer and I feel myself fall off to sleep,fal into the bed a bit ,relaxed, when I should be struggling to wake all the way up! Ok folks,that is NOT how i function at night.I wake up at a pin drop.
I remember the knife by my bed that I BEGGED LEE to allow me to keep whilst the energy is vibing out of Pan there. It is a Banishing knife 100's of years old I reach and I am not really reaching because I am back asleep and my arm turns into a snake (and fuck if it does not FEEL like Damballah's smirky BS) and I am not realy afraid. I think, "OK the knife is there and I can get it if I need it" Than, I feel a vibrating,shaking smell some insense(I always burn NagChampa and Temple,a fe others I rather not say, insence--at my home it NEVER stop burning day and night) but NOT a kind I have .It is like ..um.wet grass,earth..,franensince which I ONLY burn at sex majic studies and something I can't place but muskyish,spicyish,hatever. I am OUT.
I wake back up after losing a few hours that I swear seemed like a minute of feeling my arm being something it is NOT. I sit right up and am sweating,shaking,and my vison is just like after you try to focus after an OBE. You can't really catch your "land eyes" after being in some bizarre dimensional shift.. I can smell blood (I am good at that one and it unnerves my friends) I have fucking moon shapped marks and scratches on my arm and the back, the BACK of my legs and neck. What in the hell? A few are bleeding For fuck sake the blood does not even smell like normal Blood! It is too sweet!.I just cut my fingernails short for hiking so NO WAY I could have done it as deep as they are.Ok now I am scared and grab the knife and get up. I do a banaishing ritual. I sit in the hot tub downstairs for 10 minutes and the bleeding stops.
I KNOW many of you have no belief in Majic and other worldy things ,and thats fine. I have seen too many weird assed things to worry if others believe in "Unicorns and fairies " if you catch my drift. After you see something is REALLY real, you stop caring about trying to always convince THEM, convince others, because sometimes you still have to convice yourself you are sane, even as you look in the flesh ,so to speak, at what others say does not exist.Ok, enough mind fucking ,Sorry. That does not matter..Yes,I am sane, enough at least to know you guys are thinking, "erm..sure Kia,stop reading...[insert fantasy book here]
I have now got to spend he rest of the night watching TV, NOT sleeping until Lee calls and I can find out WTF is gping on. Sometimes, majic and the responsability for it ,when ,most of the wrold has been told that people that write what I just have, are crazy, not all there ,DO NOT believe them , is so triesome! Believe what YOU need to believe but know that if you decide to indulge in this way of life, it is not all roses...and I'm still a bit unnerved.
DISCLAIMER--I AM STATING MY OPINION ABOUT THIS WORD WE USE SO FREELY : FAKE ---AND THE APATHY THIS SOCIETY AND THE INTERNET HAVE CAUSED. ANYONE MENTIONED(AND ANYONE IN GENERAL) IS FREE TO COME AND POST THEIR OPINION ON THIS MATTER AND IT WILL ALL STAY(UNLESS IT IS THREATENING, THAN YOU ASS IS GONE..SO ON WITH THE SITUATION- Also, all Audreys post are in ,what else--PINK Well, it all started with a post that said...
Time: 07/13/2008 10:13 AM ******oh mickey my boyfriend is silly******
and included a picture taken by Audrey , I would think, because it has no other credit to anyone. It is of a person in a Mickey Mask just sitting in tiled small bathroom shower without a curtain.. Ok, nothing overly special , except it was nice to see SHE had taken a picture on her own as I had asked her before if she ever took her own pictures but of course ,because I was questioning HER, I did not recieve a reply. Big deal. I than looked at the first two post on this picture that was , honestly, not anywhere close to being as creative as so many people on Buzznet that go out and hunt for a creative shot, yet, it recieved in one day, about 54 responses of things like, "I love your hair.Do you do it yourself?" (WTF does that have to do with the picture?) I also saw, "I love you audrey your so pretty and awesome " Come on peeps. Geez.get a grip. That is just a sad fucking kiss ass senerio that makes me sick. it is THEIR choice to be sheep so..Bhaaaaa.
Than I saw it. I almost feel the fuck over. Wow, some people are just in denail (and need to go to the river "De Nile" and sit doing some meditation to get back to reality) This is what I saw:
It's weird why do people always ask if your hanging out with hannah, jeffree or raquel xDDD
Ok, than Audrey made this statement which had many just shaking thier heads at the lack of reality and the complete Walter Mitty syndrome some of these self proclaimed "E-Stars" seems to be in a prepetule state of.
It's weird why do people always ask if your hanging out with hannah, jeffree or raquel xDDD
i will never be friends with any of them so they should stop wasting there time and get over it
Wow, so Hannah, Jeffrey and Requel are all begging her to be their friends and they are fake? Well ,aso she says J Star is. That sounds rather STUCK THE FUCK UP to me! I think many people are sick and tired of the lying and BS games many self proclaimed "E-Stars" play! Not that they dislike THEM per- say but the DRAMA and NONSENSE! Like, just a few weeks ago, Audrey actually asked what a SCENE QUEEN was! many people laughed and said, "Watever,you know what it is so stop the BS" while others said (in their little state of denile and delusion,"No Audrey.You are not one .Of course not Never, It's Ok Audrey.We love you so much) *throwing up NOW * Ok, if you look at Urban dictionary it states, under the heading of Scene Queen: 3. scene queen (added June 18 2007)
A scene queen is a girl who is really popular or "famous" on the internet. You can easily find their profiles on webistes such as Myspace, LiveJournal,or Buzznet. Scene queens are "famous" because:
1) They dated a guy in a popular emo or hardcore band 2) They have alot of friends on Myspace, Buzznet etc. 3) They are friends with another scene queen
Sceen Queens wear alot of large jewlery. They take millions of pictures of themseleves and their friends. They go to shows often. Most have unique and often hideous hair. Once they become popular most Scene Queens get their own Clothing Line, Jewlery Line, Photography Company or Band.
Some examples of Scene Queens include:
Audrey Kitching Zui Suicide Miss Hanna Beth Kelly VonHart Kiki Kannibal Jac Vanek
Under Number 7 in Urban Dictionary for Scene Queen we have ANOTHER Audrey Kitching refernce: 7. Scene Queen (added Jan 4-2008)
A Scene Queen is basically a rock and roll socialite. Doesn't have to come from a wealthy background such as, Paris Hilton and Nicole Richie. Scene Queens, however are less annoying. Usually is a hair stylist or model. All of them have sidekicks to communitcate with their scene posse. They all have major internet popularity, on myspace, buzznet, youtube, stickam, etc etc..
Kid Sally: Audrey Kitching has the best scene queen hair
Kid Billy: Poosha, her hair is totaly a Jefree Star rip-off, and her myspace layout color... is so ugly.
Kid Mandy: Stfu man, Kiki Kanibal is the best.
Audrey is in 7 of the 13 entries and she is asking "what is a Scene Queen?" She KNEW it and most likely was playing to get more people looking at her. Guess what? J Star and the other people Audrey named ,including her "friend" hannah, are ALSO named as "Scene Queens." They ALL know it and I know she did too(unless she is not that bright,which being honest, I doubt) Under ALL 3 of AUDREY 's Urban Dictionary enteries it says SCENE QUEEN! Come off it. She KNEW it was there.She looked.,It is too compelling NOT to and we all know that.
Ok so back on track.
Audrey says Jeffery Star is a "FAKE." What IS a fake people? She claims she does not hang out with him or the others so how do you truly know someone in that instance? I do not know Jstar or Audrey but people are who they are and damn it if one "E-star" is a fake than fuck if they are not ALL fakes! Fuck it is WE all all not fakes to some degree! J Star,Audrey,Hannah,etc are just people that are hurting, in love, angry, joyous, excited and just who we are! Life is too short to spend hoping that the perfectly arched eyebrow or hottest new lip shade will mask an ugly heart. Kevyn Aucoin So, what is a F-A-K-E ONLINE DICTIONARY says-- FAKE fak·ing, noun, adjective –verb (used with object)
1.
prepare or make (something specious, deceptive, or fraudulent): to fake a report showing nonexistent profits.
2.
to conceal the defects of or make appear more attractive, interesting, valuable, etc., usually in order to deceive: The story was faked a bit to make it more sensational. (Ok I can see this applying)
3.
to pretend; simulate: to fake illness. (wow, does this possibly apply to many people trying to make themselves look better through fake hair,make up,photoshots or just being what you are not as many people do OnLine?)
4.
to accomplish by trial and error or by improvising: I don't know the job, but I can fake it.
5.
to trick or deceive (an opponent) by making a fake (often fol. by out): The running back faked out the defender with a deft move and scored. (So, trying to track online people that do not know you into thinking you are someone you are not?I see MANY "E-stars" and others do that daily)
6.
Jazz.
a.
to improvise: to fake an accompaniment.
b.
to play (music) without reading from a score.
verb (used without object)
7.
to fake something; pretend. (Oh Come off it. Most of these "E-stars" names are not real and that is their choice but it is also what so many do JUST FIR STARTERS not to mention the fake ages,fake jobs and life they WISHED they had lived and now make it up because so many people are all too willing to believe)
8.
to give a fake to an opponent.
–noun
9.
anything made to appear otherwise than it actually is; counterfeit: This diamond necklace is a fake. (well fuck me running. Most scene queens fit this to a tee but than so do rock stars,movie stars,etc and even us ordinary folks that may be more intersting when it comes down to it, than these people trying to live up to images that they have made or have been made for them)
10.
a person who fakes; faker: The doctor with the reputed cure for cancer proved to be a fake. (let's just say this fits.You know the score for all of us)
11.
a spurious report or story. (many make up rumors about THEMSELVES to get attention.We all do it without knowing to a point, some more than others and some just being decietful)
12.
Sports. a simulated play or move intended to deceive an opponent.
–adjective
13.
designed to deceive or cheat; not real; counterfeit.
(a BIG one as we all are fake online to a degree.We all hold secrets or push and pull this and that a bit, not giving ALL the facts or not answering a question and just letting the person assume they are right .Who is a geniune full Ace online or even in life.WE ALL WEAR MASK!)
DO YOU GUYS REMEMBER WHAT JIM MORRISON SAID? The most important kind of freedom is to be what you really are. You trade in your reality for a role. You give up your ability to feel, and in exchange, put on a mask. Jim Morrison
So, stop with the "I am better" and "They are a fake" Most people that are saying this have NO CLUE who they are! IF you are a "Scene Quuen" and think you are better than others...think again. We are all on this planet and looking for things DEEP in our souls that we rarely share! You KNOW what I am talking about whether you want to admit it or NOT. J Star has his dance and singing act and Audrey her modeling and dating guys in bands.. Come on folks.people in the 70's that dated the big metal bands are still being interviewed! These "E STARS" are fairly new and we are not sure what to make out of them./ Time will tell but STOP CALLING OTHERS FAKE, EVERYONE! AI tend to think that when people call others that ,they are worried that people will see a bit of that which they call out about others in THEM! BEWARE friends-----
All you need is an image to go by (and a ship to sail her.HA)
Spirit of the Earth, Remember! Spirit of the Seas, Remember! In the Names of the Most Secret Spirits of NAR MARRATUK The Sea below the seas And of KUTULU The Serpent who sleepeth Dead From beyond the graves of the Kings From beyond the tomb wherein INANNA Daughter of the Gods Gained Entrance to the Unholy Slumbers Of the she-fiend of KUTHULETH
In SHURRUPAK, I summon thee to mine aid! In UR, I summon thee to mine aid! In NIPPURR, I summon thee to mine aid! In ERIDU, I summon thee to mine aid! In KULLAH, I summon thee to mine aid! In LAAGASH, I summon thee to mine aid! Rise up, O powers from the Sea below all seas From the grave beyond all graves From the Land of TIL To SHIN NEBO ISHTAR SHAMMASH NERGAL MARDUK ADAR
House of the Water of Life Pale ENNKIDU Hear me!
Spirit of the Seas, Remember! Spirit of the Graves, Remember!
You are Bound ..you mik888 j88h h88k
Alsi ku nushi ilani mushiti Itti kunu alsi mushitum kallatum kuttumtum Alsi bararitum qablitum u namaritum Ashshu kashshaptu u kashshipanni Eli nitum ubbiraanni Ili-ia u Ishtari-ia ushis-su-u-eli-ia Eli ameri-ia amru-usanaku Imdikula salalu musha u urra Qu-u imtana-allu-u pi-ia Upu unti pi-ia iprusu Me mashtiti-ia umattu-u Eli li nubu-u xiduti si-ipdi Izizanimma ilani rabuti shima-a dababi Dini dina alakti limda Epu-ush salam kashshapi-ia u kashshapti-ia Sha epishia u mushtepishti-ia Is mass-ssarati sha mushi lipshuru ruxisha limnuti Pisha lu-u ZAL.LU Lishanusha Lu-u Tabtu Sha iqbu-u amat limutti-ia kima ZAL.LU litta-tuk Sha ipushu kishpi kima Tabti lishxarmit qi-ishrusha pu-uttu-ru ipshetusha xulluqu Kal amatusha malla-a sseri Ina qibit iqbu-u ilani mushitum.
Sorry but I by accident erased the other journal. I am loving the sweet Absinthe and watching swirls of opium smoke crest around and from the Hookha ,dancing amid the lights I have up and candles all over the house. It looks like I am sitting in the center of a Universe! My tears even taste like memories and I feel like floating through the ceiling while I meditate.If you must judge me, it's OK. I ask more of the Gods than of you my friends, I only ask you tolerate this,allow me this space.
Ok, the screen is too bright and I have already told the being tale, the skane has been tied..so..I call to the Orish'a to listen to my pleas.To I call on Malak Ta'us: The Peacock Angel.-The Fallen One to hear this memory and give it place amonst your considerations.
“The earth's trees have become tears of heaven's cheeks.... The flower that tempted the wind to carry its perfume, died yesterday.” Ali Ahmad Said, Victims of a Map, Saqi Books
I BROKE EDGE... 15 years of smell but don't taste,hear but don't speak, see but you can't have that and touch but don't feel...Don't feel? I F-E-E-L .I have all my life but stopped 15 years ago,arms length. I know why people have dream lovers because REAL is not enough anymore. Conjuring daemons as dangerous as it is and as much as THEY think it is not real.(HA)...THEY , the OTHER THEY.the fallen ones, have looked at me and we know each other so there are no mistakes. I conjure and their essence is shown and NO mistakes can be trembled off scared lips after promises have been made, skin has been kissed with blood and tears. NO apologies to you or society and your need to think I am "crazy" or it is nor real out of your moral coil that needs to think you know the truth! It is and was dealt in a deck long ago when a wind blew a card over the Ohrisa's mind
MY proclivities beyond that red door that society told me not to open but I DID... at 12 are too far beyond what can be given freely by a norm ..or what is normal? Lover, cousins, blood and brothers. --all the same and told it was Ok! In the juggle under the Banyan tree long ago one brother watched as another give life to something new and frightening... to a blood kinsman. Watched as they made love ..so young but...souls so old. Watched as jealously boiled over and HE wanted to MARK his brother as HIS , licking lips wanting to bite into tender skin from some feral instinct to keep him close, HIS. TO MARK him! he knew that THIS ,she was to play a part too and loved them both..So torn was the younger brother. Innocence of youth his undoing and his saving grace..his love for them.
However, The first recognition of jealously. Slowly coming forth...slowly running a hand down the young mans back, a touch of recognition for he KNEW him in spirit but not yet in flesh..brother....Beloved... and over her shoulders mesmerized...So needing... So base..trembling with that need and excitement ..the wanting to be fulfilled..PROPHECY of the white haired children, .or so the Shaman said as he gently moved him towards the other two and disappeared into the jungle without a word. It was unspoken and known. They all made love under the banyan tree ,laughed, ate the sweet cassava fruit,passing it from lips to tongue as the elder saw what was to come with tears in his eyes,yet not of shame or judgement . he, elder,Shamna, had no judgement that the Western world would pour upon them with hateful derision. He knew it was HERE,in his jungle that these three souls would be the eyes,ears and emotion for one another..TRUE blood!
I know why people like these stories of brothers and lovers, first times and tender needing and urgent caresses . It can't happen in this Christian run place. Lonely for part of my soul. My heart still beats in the jungle with two others ..lover,brothers, mine.Did they choose to be born as such? So, its too late. I must feel again if it means Absinthe stained lips and opium fogged memories .THEY,the daemons offer more than your God. Your god took THEM from me,needing them like my lungs needed air... and I can only regain faint taste and smells without the plant and vine, grape and sugar. So tired .The Orisha's beat the drums and it is now too loud to ignore. Blood swishes in my ears and I can FEEL their hearts ,or the guy outside walking his dog on the moonlit grass hill..*grin* I go now to the Land of the Gods, Morpheus and Greillit'en call. Pan and Cernnonous. Its too late and I break 15 years.Its OK. I want this. I can't ignore it and pretend anymore.I remove the mask tonight and become what I may yet become. Judge me not for the story is yet to come
Rappers like NOS rapping about Conflict Diamonds..are you kidding me? I watched Blood Diamonds last night when I could not sleep and noticed a very hypocritical thing.Well, 1 strange thing and 1 hypocritical thing. I knew that they had filmed in some really hard core parts of Africa Sierra Leon and the like but was not aware that it was so hard on the actors that they had to keep a physiatrist on staff . That was a bit worrisome.WOW! It must have been very harsh seeing the 200,000 CHILD soldiers that still remain in Sierra Leon! Warner Bros. has made the production notes for Blood Diamond available to the media. Buried on page 22 is an "epilogue" that mentions the Kimberley Process. Director Ed Zwick offers this quick take:
"Even now, it's a very difficult circumstance to try to control. We are not telling people to stop buying diamonds, but we need consumers to insist on seeing the warranty of the diamonds they buy. The Kimberley Process came about because of heightened public awareness. If this movie succeeds in increasing that awareness, it will hopefully strengthen a process that needs [Zwick's emphasis] to be greatly strengthened."
WHERE IS THIS CHILD "BLING" DO THE RAPPERS THAT TALK ALL THIS TALL TALK HAVE THIS PICTURE ON THEIR WALLS SO THEY CAN SEE WHAT THEY ARE CONTRIBTING TO? DOUBT IT.THEY JUST WANT THEIR BLING AND RAP ABOUT IT OFTEN! At the end of the show you hear a song called Shine On Em' sung by the rapper NAS. here are the lyrics:
[Nas:] They wanna shine on it Shine on it (repeated)
Yah They dug me the soil of mines in the motherland Now I've placed from one hand to another hand Illegal smuggling, people struggling, Wish they can just throw me back in the mud again Yeh, this is how we got here Slave trade and the diamond trade Every childs afraid, when his mother or father gets sprayed Forced in the army, young killer brigade Gets a new name, then he gets his nose glued His mind can't take what he's going through Lookin' in the dirt for that ice ol' blue Then the royal family the ice goes to This thing has to change, feelin' half ashamed As i rap with my platinium chain When you shop for a gift for me You think about the misery The same way we made a part our history We could do the same to the complect ice But everybody wanna shine right?
Everybody wants heaven, but nobody wants dead Everybody wants diamonds without the bloodshed Everybody wants heaven, but nobody wants dead Everybody wants diamonds without the bloodshed
They wanna shine on em [repeated]
Uh My bbs glimmers on my chest Two hundred thousand crested watch on my wrist I wonder how people starve to death When God blessed the land that lacks the harvest Their stones are quality, but their homes are poverty And the whole world ignores the robbery I bought my girl pretty rocks and she is mad at me Tear drop shaped uh, perfect clarity It shocks so many are killed annually Cause of greed, lust, and pure vanity Stop talkin' and do something about it Every holiday season, jewelery stores crowded Kids snatched from their homes, mutilated alive Husbands spreaded from wives Keep a Jesus peace to be fly But back in the day, there was a time they called us shine
Everybody wants heaven, but nobody wants dead Everybody wants diamonds without the bloodshed Everybody wants heaven, but nobody wants dead Everybody wants diamonds without the bloodshed
They wanna shine on em [repeated]
Yet the guy has more diamonds that the Queen herself. Who is the fool kidding? Look at his pictures! He is lying through his teeth. He is not thinking about his "people" in Africa but about the almighty dollar! The Black man unfortunately is selling out the black man now in Africa in the diamond trade and NAS can't seem to understand that. Sure, the white Debeers is ,well, mainly the rich white elite making the profit and SHAME ON THEM but the black on black exploitation needs to be looked at and STOPPED. Do you think NAS,or most rappers, really care? HELL NO! Look at the diamond encrusted HUGE necklaces they have! It is sick as you hear them sing about their oppresed kin in Africa.Knowing that many people listen to these rappers and THEY COULDget a great message across to people. They squander that chance and take about hoes, booze and diamonds or "bling" instead...AND IT MAKES ME DAMN MAD!
someone died for this diamond ring most likely! Maybe another child soldier has a nightmare and can't forget blowing people away when he was 8. Maybe a family died from a sickness that was broght on my the digging becausw we have to have ,want to have,must have OUR DIAMONDS!
How can anyone wear a diamond after seeing the faces of all the children used and abiused to get them? Wake up NAS and smell your own BS!
In an Interview with Funkmaster Flex of Hot 97 in 2006 about the Movie and the Diamonds NAS said: "I think it's going to shake up some stuff out there with the whole way it's happening with them coming from over there on the continent, the way it's brought over there," said Nas of the film.
"I think it's gonna help out some stuff," Nas added. When Flex prodded the historically socially conscious emcee about the diamonds he was wearing Nas responded, "I like these shiny things, man. And sometimes I wear them and I think about it like, 'Yo, man. These belong to me. I'm buying it back.' I'm trying to get involved."
Sure NAS, that is total bullshit. Keep making excuse as you get paid and do nothing yet grip in your lyrics about others doing something, the slave trade(where the hell did that come from with the diamond trade now?) and you STILL support the death of your "brothers in Africa" as you call them! Be proud to be descended from Africans (scientist say we ALL come from a proud black woman they have named EVE, that's right, we ALL started out black) but damn it, do not talk shit and get off your ass and stop wearing them if you are going to rap about it.
This is the sickest thing I saw! Nas makes a song about how horrible the Blood Diamonds are and than he sports this VERY expensive diamond necklace...Let this speak for irself because it speaks more than NAS's damn fake lyrics ever will.
AS ALWAYS--MAKE UP YOUR OWN MIND.DO YOUR OWN RESEARCH..SEE THE TRUTH
Broken doves, bleeding hearts, bleeding wall and now it starts! Spirits and demons, hear my call. All those powerful, one and all. Send your demons into the night, bring me your minions, with all of your might.
Death, destruction, sadness and hate. Fury of fire, despair and fate. Unleash your power, unleash them all so my enemies take a mighty fall!
I ,on this way to be, make this know to thee:
Aleph, Lamed, Dalet ( read right to left)
אלד
The First Principal Spirit is a King ruling in the East, called Bael. He maketh thee to go Invisible. He ruleth over 66 Legions of Infernal Spirits. He appeareth in divers shapes, sometimes like a Cat, sometimes like a Toad, and sometimes like a Man, and sometimes all these forms at once. He speaketh hoarsely. This is his character which is used to be worn as a Lamen before him who calleth him forth, or else he will not do thee homage.
Now to feminies made from garden borne to take a foe and into stone the blood and man doth mingle complete and is now with words complete:
Black moon , Lilith,Sisiter,Darkest,
Whose hands from the hellish mire,
At my weakest,At my strongest,
Molding me as clay from fire,
Black Moon,Lilith,Mare of Night,
You cast your litter to the ground,
Speak the NAME and take to flight,
Utter now the secret sound!
To Be Continued...
O can't believe I forgot. Fuck the steps i have to go back to now, Urrg (To whom I am speaking you know!)
Confíteor (don't forget to strike your chest 3 times or,use a cat O' nines in the begining mea culpa's)
"Mea culpa, mea culpa, mea máxima culpa, Ideo precor beátam Maríam semper Vírginem, beátum Michaélem Archángelum, beátum Joánnem Baptístam, sanctos Apóstolos Petrum et Paulum, omnes Sanctos, et te, Pater, oráre pro me ad Dóminum Deum nostrum."
In nómine Patris, et Fílii, et Spíritus Sancti, exstinguátur in te omnis virtus diáboli per impositiónem mánuum nostrárum, et per invocatiónem gloriósae et sanctae Dei Genitricis Virginis Mariea, ejusqye inclytu Sponsi Joseph, et ómnium sanctórum Angelelórum, Archangelórum, Patriarchárum, Prophetárum, Apostolorum, Mártyrum, Confessórum, Virginum, atque ómnium simul Sanctórum" "Per istam sanctam Unctiónem et suam piisimam misericórdiam, indúlgeat tibi Dóminus quidquid per visum! Per istam sanctam Unctiónem et suam piisimam misericórdiam, indúlgeat tibi
Dóminus quidquid per audtiotum!Kyrie eléison. Christe eléison. Kyrie eléison ARMEN et al ta' malcouth vebabera Vegjula alroium amen!(LAST IS SPOKEN IN DEAMONIC OR SANGIUNESE TOUNGE')
Immundissime spiritus…… da locum……
recedo, delinquentes…… recedo,
seductor….”
Mea culpa, mea culpa, mea maxima
culpa. Adding here i bring it to fruition in an age where looking at the reality of it ,LOOKING at it evokes and invokes .It has begun.
Claim: Sesame Street is adding to its cast a muppet who is HIV-positive.
Origins:Sesame Street
has offered a variety of social messages and images since its debut in
1969. Its regular characters include adults and children of different
ethnic and racial backgrounds, and it has featured characters and guest
stars with various disabilities.
In September 2002 it added to its cast of muppets a female character
who is HIV-positive. Segments including this new muppet will air only
in South Africa (where the show is called Takalani Sesame— takalani
means "be happy" in the Tshivenda language), but it is possible that
eventually this character will appear in shows broadcast to the other
eight nations that air Sesame Street.
The South African character has been named Kami and will be a female
mustard-colored furry Muppet who likes nature, telling stories and
collecting stuff. Kami is a "monster Muppet" like Grover or Elmo, the
least human-like of the Sesame cast, said Joel Schneider,vice president of Sesame Workshop. The muppet will associate freely
with the show's other characters as a way to fight stereotypes about
people with the virus, said Yvonne Kgame of the South African
Broadcasting Corporation.
"We know that she'll be lively, alert, friendly, outgoing, and
HIV-positive," said Schneider, who in July 2002 announced the character
to delegates attending the 14th International AIDS Conference in Barcelona. "It's about instilling positive attitudes toward people who are HIV-infected," Kgame said.
North Americans may wonder at the wisdom of inserting an HIV-positive
character into a show aimed at tykes 3 to 7, little ones we would deem
too young to expose to such harsh realities. But in South Africa, where
Takalani Sesame
airs, one in nine people is infected with HIV, and many of these are
children. In that country, the horror of the disease is further
compounded by the stigma attached to it, especially if the infected
person is female.
The new character is aimed at undoing some of that stigma through presenting her as a happy, outgoing creature.
God, I am so tired.What next? Now I have ten days to 1) find a new clinic
because I stood up for myself and those that could not. I was in shock at how
unprofessional my 'councilor" was and is. They can't have me telling the clients
they do not have to be abused mentally and physically and take it..So, they lied
to make it seem I fucked up Little do they know I tape recorded all convos and
had my phone on to a lawyer, on speaker phone, and the head or the Colorado
board that regulates that medication and THEIR incenses . They fucked with the
wrong b***H. 2) Government and court sanctioned THEFT of money through writ of
garnishment (I do NOT owe the money and they took the money EVEN though I
proved to the Liberty Accusations LLC that they were stealing SSI funds from a
14 year old child and Pell grant funds from a disabled mom ,Those are the ONLY
things that have ever gone in this account ---federal grant and loan money for
school and SSI which are BOTH exempt from garnishments! ! I go to court to
answer their writ of garnishment tomorrow and I can take them for either 2 or 5
times the amount! 3) I had to drop 2 classes because of the BS and stress. 4) Breannna is sick daily now and I am very worried.
I am beginning to hate and distrust so many and I do NOT want to do that. I would rather just start this entire life cucle over again(NO, I am NOT feel sorry for muself or like fucking victim) I am just tired =damnit.
Ok, I have a question. About 8-9 years ago I got a "check" in the mail saying I had won a contest and there was a "check" with it for about 300 dollars. I was so excited.I ran right to the bank to cash it. i gues a lot of people In Colorado got them. It looked EXACTLY like a check. It had the amount,my full name, a place on the back to sign, etc! The cashier was rxcite for me and cashed it.
Well, month or so later I got a letter from the bank and they were asking what was going on and that it was NOT a check but a "Prmotion" and in VERY VERY small letters (that even the cashier and I missed) said not a check. Now most of you know NOW the most write NOT A CHECK across the front) They just said I should close my account and back than I had rejected my family for a few years and so did not have lots of money. The bank stated IF YOU CLSE YOUR ACCOUNT YOU DO NOT NEED TO PAY BACK THE MONEY! So I did
Many years later (is there not some time contrants they must go by?) they do not even SERVE me properly saying they are taking me to court .I recieved an unoffical letter from some collection agency a whileback and i asked them what it was for and they refused to tewll me and said nasty things(as most do.lol) I told them if they could not tell me than I could not pay them. They NEVER got back in touch with je nor did they SERVE me. Today I got the mail (from yesterday) and it said they ,the laywers had done a "writ of exection" on my NOW bank account and taken out 506.00. I was NOT told ,warned or OFFICAL served and that money is ALL federal.
I did not even know it was missing. So, can I do anything because i do NOT owe that bank money and it has been about 9 years ?
Thanks guys. It is just silly but if I can't than I can't.It will be a lesson learned!
Well, this was my summer schedule until ARTS clinic Denver decided to FUCK
me up the arse without a reach around! To abuse me because, well, THEY FUCKING
CAN. Not to worry that they are my sobriety councilors and hold many aspects of
my life in the palm of their very uneducated, ignorant and power hungry grubby
ghetto paws! Fuck you to the people at the clinic and I hope you will enjoy the
litigation I have planned for you....sans Vaseline! Wanna watch me cry again?
Shake because you looked at my medical/psych record and saw I was raped and took
the words the RAPIST used and laughed as you, a councilor and boss, used that
info AGAINST me, knowing the RAPIST had said the exact same thing to get me to
do what he/they wanted. You took that trust I gave you and shit it out back,
vomited it forth with a vindictive and power mongering nature to abuse me. You
hate me because I have been sober for 15 YEARS in December. and now that my
trust fund is paying you my monthly fee directly, you can't use the money issue
against me or my head injury . You blew it ARTS. You fucking abused me to the
tune of what Colorado calls a VUNERABLE ADULT. That is a FELONY! You blew it ass
holes!
So,
today I went to my methadone clinic. I have been sober TOTALLY for 14 and 1/2
years. They have been fucking with me (and others) for a while. My situation
started when a councilor got PISSED that I was going out of the country and was
jealous! The fat heifer tried to stop me from being able to go out of the
country a few years ago the day before I left by throwing issues up that would
not allow me to get the Methadone (which they call Methadose as it is liquid)
done(it is given as a daily dose in a small bottle /per day. One bottle per day
is the dose. She almost made me lose out on(well my family) 12,000 dollars!
This kept going as they threatened to backdate a MEDICAL file to say I "beat
my daughter" and she threatened me on the phone saying and laughing it as she
did NOT know I was taping the conversation. She threatened to "make us both
suffer." I called the ADAT or governmental agency that regulates
them(Methadose/Methadone is a scheduled narcotic or drug and must be regulated
like all opiates!) The HEAD of the government agency flew to Denver and went to
the clinic and the crazy power horny heifer was FIRED and the clinic got in
trouble. That stated the rest of the war.they are ALL about money and think that
if we die who cares that we are useless and worthless!
So, a few months
ago they were about to take my "privileges" away. You have phases that are when
you have to go daily, 3x a week, than 2 x a week than 1 x a week than every 2
weeks or twice a month ands than monthly. I am on the second to highest level
which is every 2 week until TODAY. I show up and the bitch said I did not see
her for 2 months.THAT is a lie. I saw my name marked out of her book and she
was trying to cover HER ass. My friend that ALWAYS takes me writes down where
and when he takes me (like to just the clinic or school or clinic and to see
penny my councilor, etc) and he knows that he took me to see my stupid fuck ass
councilor the last days of April. She claims she :tried to call me all these
times" but I called my cell phone and there is only 1 call from her in a month.
There are 5 from me to HER! Lying bitch ass fool. Fuck with me? Try it.
I NOW have to get rid of one of the classes because for the next month I
have to spend lots of money to go once a week and why...because the bitch that
used the rape scenario against me was made to apologize when she claimed she did
NOT know she was using a PTSD scenario against me (it is right in my file the
lying c***) The crazy who** should NOT have been screaming backwards from 10
while standing inches away from me and forcing me to sign a paper I did not
agree with and had not read all the way through.That is called ABUSE and it is a
FELONY.This fucking clinic is supposed to be my ADVOCATE and I just made the
national deans list, vice presidents list, still have a 4.0 GPA because I got
all A's, got a scholarship from Delta Kappa Gamma and had to places ask for me
for my Internship. Did they say word one at my supposedly supportive councilors?
FUCK NO! Instead I got, "you did not see your councilor so you are getting
your "privileges " taken away" (Even though I have proof that I DID see her.They
said their "proof' is better than mine and mine does not count) I got this a
DAY before my classes start so now I have to give one up and they LAUGHED
LAUGHED in my FACE knowing I was not allowed to show ANY emotions because
seriously, if you show emotion at those clinics, they always say you are "angry"
or "pissed" or "acting out." You ARE NOT ALLOWED TO SHOW EMTIONS AND THAT IS THE
TRUTH! I have a witness.They lied and said I "got mad and yelled." he was there
and watched me CRY and shake. That councilor WILL lose her job and she will lose
her license when I am done with her because I keep records and all we talk
about once a moth is her 1) period 2) sex life with her husband 3) diabetes 4)
personal issues in HER life. That is not Ok and if you are council it is not
done. She talked OVER me so she can only talk about her for the most part. I do
not trust her anyway so I will never speak anything personal with her again.She
blew it . They all did and I do not play!
I have had it with these
losers that need some power so they threaten , coerce, lie, cheat and steal from
people that are trying to live a GOOD sober life.They KNOW that we will be
called a junkie and that the councilors will be believed.That was ADMITTED to
me(they do not know I now record all most all times I am in the clinic with my
mini tape recorder) they are ruining my life and I have NEVER HAD A DIRTY UA FOR
ANYTHING NOT EVEN POT THAT MOST DO. I HAVE NEVER MISSED A DOSE DAY AND THAT IS
FOR ALMOST 15 YEARS. Sorry ARTS but your FUCKED and you are going to pay out
the ass and I wanted my apology written in blood and crayon! Fuckers
Just give me then fantasy above to take away the feelings below!
Saint Marks Junkie Journals ...OR--- Warning...If this had been an actual emergancy...
Oh God,and I thought I had the beast lurking just below my consciences ness under hold,lock and key, in a state of hypnogenic being or state--.that state between being asleep and just waking up where you will often jerk awake Alas, I guess I was wrong , and FUCK that scares me. This is why: I am on break from College until summer semester starts and waiting also waiting for the "go ahead" from my rather racist African American professor. It is all stressful at that but trying for some downtime.So, as usual,I go to get some coffee.We decided to forgo our regular spot and head over to the hippy eclectic hangout called St. Marks. I walked in and its quite the "colorful" deal. Paintings from local artist, tobacco hookahs , tattooed and pierced people everywhere and maybe one businessman on his new technological toy planner and his Armani suit talking to what sounded like a stock broker. People writing poetry, working art on their computers, playing the guitar outside, a group playing GO in the back, etc. Ok this is cool ,I think and I wonder where the Mochas and Vegan or Bran cherry muffins are?
I walked next to a shut door which was the unisex bathroom and waited in line for a friend to park the Vespa we had ridden when....BAMMMMM..it hit me . At first I thought to myself, " I know that scent" (I thought the word scent, like a was smelling some fine man with a sexy Cologne that I could not see yet but must be great) and than I said the words," Chicago" in my mind and that went through my thoughts. I could not quite put my finger on that smell but it reminded me of something warm, fuzzy, something comforting and familiar ..like home maybe ..like cookies baking on a cold snowy day when you are really hungry or an apple pie when your blood sugar is low from NOT eating any of Grandma's apple pie in a long time. I heard myself mutter, "where did they get good brown Chiva from in Denver" I said it as an after thought to what I was searching for and it came out before I realized I had thought it.
Hum, Oh well" and passed it off for a second. Tick..Tock..Tick..Tock..and BAMMM Part Duex--my mind hits speed of light thinking and I think, "It's dope! Someone is cooking really good Mexican brown Heroin a few feet away behind the closed bathroom door in a little bent spoon or cooker cap!" (we used pop screw off lids with a few of the metal things bent outward to hold lie a handle when it was over the flame) IT smells good and I am getting dizzy!
WHY? NO. This can't be getting to me.It can't be happening. Not FAIR! I can even smell the flame on the bottom of the spoon give of a metallic smell with the dope and my endorphins are firing and I'm rubbing my arm ,pinching unknowingly at my used vein in my right arm where I used to fix, from long ago and biting my bottom lip until it is about to bleed (that's all I need now is to smell blood ALONG with that!) I stay stock still and hear a belt come off and that whip and clank as it is taken off and snick of the leather tightening as it is wrapped around the arm and the unknown person ties off.. I am shaking at this point but can't say a thing! Things flood my memory! I would often see male deamons and angels when really high. NO! AND THIS---NO!
I hear all this,as any other junky or recovering one would because it was RITUAL for us all for many times a day, for many years or decades for some. You become attuned, like a Big cat to prey at night, no moon, just instinct and senses and IN-tune to these sick telltale sounds,smells, ,etc. ,because now I am really listening and using all my sense to replay things..recall feelings and what could be on HIGH alert. Than the sound of fingers back --slapping a vein in the arm.--thwack..thwack and it sounds like a drum being beaten oh so L-O-U-D-L-Y and I am starting to get sick to my stomach as the smell seeps out of the bottom of the older door and curls to my nose. Why does no one else smell it? I am panicked!
I hiss under my breath to myself, "Stay calm damn it" Than think ,"It is almost over, Don't move" I was even almost sure I heard the liquid hit the cotton and get drawn up with a long shallow sucking noise of sssssssttt sound, and the long orgasmic sigh as the person dropped the belt, the metal buckle hitting the cheap tile floors with a telling sharp THUD and metal clunk ,which most in line heard as nothing more than maybe someone's pants falling around someone's ankles, if they heard it at all, as if it were a normal sound, To me, they had missed the entire symphony that only I heard! I stood so still and quite, eyes wide and stomach about to retch.The door opened and a 20 something cute boy, still cute I should say, but with wear and tear from the smack, nonetheless, appeared outside the door with a small sublet wobble in his step. Even sober junkies can tell these things. His eyes were pinned and tiny and you could, well any other junkie,could see he was pretty high and I gritted my teeth as he could tell I knew and grinned a Cheshire- esque grin, all teeth and player like with a wink. I watched him palm his crotch (ha the post shot erection and I was getting sicker, even desperate) as he waked over to the table, now running his hand through his blond with blue streaked hair all falling in his eyes to cover his pinned pupils and sat down with a group of friends. He fumbled, the shot must have been an ear- ringer , and handed a case, like one you would put your glasses in, to a young girl with colorful tattoos and many piercing. Wait. I was thinking again.. Oh God NO! They were sharing a kit and that was their works in the case (needle, cotton, water, spoon or cooker lid, bleach if they were smart and usually some poppers.) The boy started to nod off and she got up and headed to the bathroom. I watched him nod and felt some pangs of jealousy. WTF? It was becoming surreal!
My friend had ordered my drink as I guess he told me later, I had not answered so he ordered what he knew I liked and I said I mumbled, "We are out of here NOW!" Wow, it was like sensory overload and I truly thought I had it all under control. I still feel a little nausea sweeping over me but it will pass. I know now that even THAT monster I took care of almost 15 years ago still lives under the surface and can awaken even without my permission. I will be more on guard with THE MONSTER from now on! The 12 steps say you have no control but i must! I will! I will endure! It is MY choice...now!
Oh God,and I thought I had the beast lurking just below my consciences ness under hold,lock and key, in a state of hypnogenic being or state--.that state between being asleep and just waking up where you will often jerk awake Alas, I guess I was wrong , and FUCK that scares me. This is why: I am on break from College until summer semester starts and waiting also waiting for the "go ahead" from my rather racist African American professor. It is all stressful at that but trying for some downtime.So, as usual,I go to get some coffee.We decided to forgo our regular spot and head over to the hippy eclectic hangout called St. Marks. I walked in and its quite the "colorful" deal. Paintings from local artist, tobacco hookahs , tattooed and pierced people everywhere and maybe one businessman on his new technological toy planner and his Armani suit talking to what sounded like a stock broker. People writing poetry, working art on their computers, playing the guitar outside, a group playing GO in the back, etc. Ok this is cool ,I think and I wonder where the Mochas and Vegan or Bran cherry muffins are?
I walked next to a shut door which was the unisex bathroom and waited in line for a friend to park the Vespa we had ridden when....BAMMMMM..it hit me . At first I thought to myself, " I know that scent" (I thought the word scent, like a was smelling some fine man with a sexy Cologne that I could not see yet but must be great) and than I said the words," Chicago" in my mind and that went through my thoughts. I could not quite put my finger on that smell but it reminded me of something warm, fuzzy, something comforting and familiar ..like home maybe ..like cookies baking on a cold snowy day when you are really hungry or an apple pie when your blood sugar is low from NOT eating any of Grandma's apple pie in a long time. I heard myself mutter, "where did they get good brown Chiva from in Denver" I said it as an after thought to what I was searching for and it came out before I realized I had thought it.
Hum, Oh well" and passed it off for a second. Tick..Tock..Tick..Tock..and BAMMM Part Duex--my mind hits speed of light thinking and I think, "It's dope! Someone is cooking really good Mexican brown Heroin a few feet away behind the closed bathroom door in a little bent spoon or cooker cap!" (we used pop screw off lids with a few of the metal things bent outward to hold lie a handle when it was over the flame) IT smells good and I am getting dizzy!
WHY? NO. This can't be getting to me.It can't be happening. Not FAIR! I can even smell the flame on the bottom of the spoon give of a metallic smell with the dope and my endorphins are firing and I'm rubbing my arm ,pinching unknowingly at my used vein in my right arm where I used to fix, from long ago and biting my bottom lip until it is about to bleed (that's all I need now is to smell blood ALONG with that!) I stay stock still and hear a belt come off and that whip and clank as it is taken off and snick of the leather tightening as it is wrapped around the arm and the unknown person ties off.. I am shaking at this point but can't say a thing! Things flood my memory! I would often see male deamons and angels when really high. NO! AND THIS---NO!
I hear all this,as any other junky or recovering one would because it was RITUAL for us all for many times a day, for many years or decades for some. You become attuned, like a Big cat to prey at night, no moon, just instinct and senses and IN-tune to these sick telltale sounds,smells, ,etc. ,because now I am really listening and using all my sense to replay things..recall feelings and what could be on HIGH alert. Than the sound of fingers back --slapping a vein in the arm.--thwack..thwack and it sounds like a drum being beaten oh so L-O-U-D-L-Y and I am starting to get sick to my stomach as the smell seeps out of the bottom of the older door and curls to my nose. Why does no one else smell it? I am panicked!
I hiss under my breath to myself, "Stay calm damn it" Than think ,"It is almost over, Don't move" I was even almost sure I heard the liquid hit the cotton and get drawn up with a long shallow sucking noise of sssssssttt sound, and the long orgasmic sigh as the person dropped the belt, the metal buckle hitting the cheap tile floors with a telling sharp THUD and metal clunk ,which most in line heard as nothing more than maybe someone's pants falling around someone's ankles, if they heard it at all, as if it were a normal sound, To me, they had missed the entire symphony that only I heard! I stood so still and quite, eyes wide and stomach about to retch.The door opened and a 20 something cute boy, still cute I should say, but with wear and tear from the smack, nonetheless, appeared outside the door with a small sublet wobble in his step. Even sober junkies can tell these things. His eyes were pinned and tiny and you could, well any other junkie,could see he was pretty high and I gritted my teeth as he could tell I knew and grinned a Cheshire- esque grin, all teeth and player like with a wink. I watched him palm his crotch (ha the post shot erection and I was getting sicker, even desperate) as he waked over to the table, now running his hand through his blond with blue streaked hair all falling in his eyes to cover his pinned pupils and sat down with a group of friends. He fumbled, the shot must have been an ear- ringer , and handed a case, like one you would put your glasses in, to a young girl with colorful tattoos and many piercing. Wait. I was thinking again.. Oh God NO! They were sharing a kit and that was their works in the case (needle, cotton, water, spoon or cooker lid, bleach if they were smart and usually some poppers.) The boy started to nod off and she got up and headed to the bathroom. I watched him nod and felt some pangs of jealousy. WTF? It was becoming surreal!
My friend had ordered my drink as I guess he told me later, I had not answered so he ordered what he knew I liked and I said I mumbled, "We are out of here NOW!" Wow, it was like sensory overload and I truly thought I had it all under control. I still feel a little nausea sweeping over me but it will pass. I know now that even THAT monster I took care of almost 15 years ago still lives under the surface and can awaken even without my permission. I will be more on guard with THE MONSTER from now on! The 12 steps say you have no control but i must! I will! I will endure! It is MY choice...now!
I have come across a rather "unique" situation and damn...it is hard to
pass this one up. It may compromise my personal laws and moras to an extent but
it is not a chance people come across often. As many of you know I have lead a
rather weird and eclectic life and have run from my now conservative ranch
having, racist ( they said,"Obama would have the blacks act up so you better not
vote for him") Southern, W.A.S.P ,(you will have to look that up) Christian,
Chapel building to memorialize the dead, Country Club/University Club belonging
family. I love them ,don't get me wrong.We all love our families---faults and
all, or should for the most part (awful circumstances not withstanding) I love
them but need to finish what THEY started LONG ago with younger me running
around naked, or near that state at least as was the norm, in a jungle
atmosphere with the kids from this or that tribe and experiencing what THEY did,
partaking in hallucinogenic ceremonies that would have had me snatched away
from them quickly by the government in any Western civilization and given to a
better home (there was no better home--they were the best)
I need to finish that and remember the blanket tosses while the rhythmic
drums of the Inuit's pounded out a hypnotic trance state while chewing on sinew
and playing in mukluks and a parka in the snow and eating ice and seal fat like
a snow cone. I need to go back to the roots ,the actual VINES and "flesh of the
Gods" mushrooms, the Yopo ceremonies and Fly Agaric that took me above my
own Doppelganger to watch my previous life. The shaman told me at one point I
could not join in at first(I could not play their reindeer games) I was
different, and I might go into what we call , not the Shaman however, Twoofing
(he knew, I only knew my cousin/lover/best friend watched in intrigue--The
Shaman knew he played a larger role in my destiny/Sanguinarian-sexual awakening)
Not afraid of my awakening beast because he has his own and had seen the tribes
and many other tribes Ghost,Fairies, beast and mythos along with me.
Shaman finally let me into the inner rituals after great debate and said I
would return, albeit down the line AFTER I had come to learn things. (HE knew) I
need the spirit peoples talking plants to take me to that OTHER world where I
met that ME that I was only allowed only a glimpse of because I was to young. It
would bring to life too fast certain areas of existence he matter of factly
stated, yet with no real answer of yes or no now (ha too late--the saga of blood
is thicker than water and so is sexual awakening had already began its part in
the timeline) I am hoping my cousin that went on the travels with me all those
years ago growing up (it was Michael, his younger brother John, and me) Older
brother has figured out my secret before even I had on the jungles edge one day
when he pricked his hand on a large wooden splinter from a dead tree. The blood
flowed and IT began. The proclivities we have that stay with us--did it stay
with him? the need? the curiosity? the unafraid teen more enthralled in the
secrets than the consequence!?
Taboo...says Western society, but we were worlds away from that
reality. Younger cousin of my helper, his beloved brother, to my
awakening looked on with a KNOWING , a jealous lovers knowing and that of an
old soul that rediscovered its morning cappuccino but could never drink it for
fear of the burn, the GOOD burn! HE remembered! Shaman told him he had a part to
play in unfolding events with a nod and a pat on the shoulder and watched the
strange toe- headed lost children awakening to many different, erotic
and ancient ways in HIS jungle with an eye of a learned and kindly elder serpent
GOD and without the judging eye of the Western ways people wince they, the
strange trio, had come from. Shaman KNEW the blood would flow before the story
was over and the keening hitched breaths and bit back barely audible moans,
words spoken in THEIR tongue, ancient and magic whilst exploring touches,
butterfly touches like gossamer across goose bumped skin that started to
accompany each "accidental"nick and cut for the older boy would become a need
fulfilled down the line by the "jealous" watcher from the Banyan tree. His
tears left behind the only trace he had been alone at all in longing, NEED.
But,Shaman saw. Shaman KNEW!
The "Human beings" as they call themselves, most indigenous peoples there
did, see it, this sexual awakening, as The Pleasure Principle and teach it
as thus, bound more by blood of the soul mates and essential to knowing a
soul,even cousins if it be foretold. Wrong or right we became inseparable,
adding in a third and loving missing link that had to wait for its time in this
piece (we knew when he spoke our secret "Language" and his eyes understood)
and we 3 hid NOTHING from the HUMNA BEINGS kindly eyes, nonjudgmental in speech
and looks. We were of one body some of the elders would say. Each of us reacting
and feeling for the other two ,FEELING so deeply as if we were one being
split apart for the needs that drove us--- one for blood, one for sex and
one tears, each one directing and teaching the others in the "specialty" they
had acquired. Awakening to fingers twirled and entwined in Papaya smelling
hair or an ear upon a heart, not knowing where one begin and the others ended.
Only innocence seen by the HUMAN BEINGS. nothing wicked or unnatural! A
beautiful seedling growing from a rare jungle mutated vine that would, however,
bring about an unfolding sadness. Shaman knew IT was not meant to be in OUR
world, Shaman said. No one ever judged HERE, using the words and curses,the
pointed fingers of fear and accusation of the world we had to return to soon.
Shaman didn't have the heart to break ours.So young we were. Teens yet childlike
in what we saw as our RIGHT and innocence in the world. We left a part of us all
in that jungle of emotions and foretold events! I can still awaken some times
and still smell the morning jungle dew mixed with their scent, but quickly it
fades! Faded memories snatched away from me by light pushing in through city
smog giving it an unnatural look,chasing away the allure and pull of my old
home. I need to know because SHAMAN KNEW
So, now I have to go back now to the SKIN WALKERS, the Otherkin,the Shape
shifters , the Loup Garou possibly giving up on my schooling and studies, even
my Internship for now. I had excepted to take this path. It is filled with
rituals and learning beyond any college or professor.The teachers are the plants
and the spirits, the changing energy and what YOU and many ,even part of me, has
forgotten walking in our technological world with shoes on pavement and steel,
no connection to the Powers, the Gods and Goddesse's , things the Western World
calls Myths and Legends, not real.
I think I have to go back and learn this way.I will go after the 12th of
this month to see if this is MY path for the summer, or longer. Something is in
the air. Something of an NEW awakening .Static charge.(A bit back moan
escaping, remembering?) A change, a need to know. Secrets forgotten and pieces
remembered. NEED is a wonton creature born of things we dare not speak of. Need
is change for some and it must be now for me. SHAMAN KNEW and STILL KNOWS!
Pictures were ONLY used that gave persmission and on site permission
MY INTERJECTIONS AND COMMENTS IN BLUE,SHOULD BE IN RED AS FUCKING MAD AS I AM AT THIS PIG Typical conservative BULLSHIT and that asshat would do nothing but hide and expect someone ELSE to die and protect him in a riot HIS ass started. What a mindless brainwashed MONKEY this Bush supporting fuck is! He is taking up oxygen that someone with brain cells and gray matter could breath.( someone that Understands the science of Global Warming and taking care of the Earth, giving back for what you take. Not this monkey fuck) To think the Earth has to give something for him to breath so he can talk his fucked up smack sickens me. People THAT Conservative and full of "Moral righteousness" are true LOSERS! He hates any fellow countryman that speaks their mind Hum? Are you jealous you glutinous fuck because YOU have no mind? ANYONE that thinks Democrat or Republican is a "form of mental disease" does not deserve the air they are getting from mother earth. Stupid mindless idiots! GO buy a life or some therapy!
PS--If their IS a riot because of your mindless and thoughtless words, my FRIENDS and I at my Magazine in Denver (we have 3 actually) and the radio station my friend that just died and was sickened by you worked at will make sure YOU are held accountable for the court in THIS state . I would suggest you start "praying to your big fancy know it all mad as hell God that you do this in the name of." We will make sure you are brought to AMERICAN proper and fair justice as that is how it is done for both dems and repubs ( like there is a big difference HA!) in AMERICA dumb ass.We do not ask to riot or hurt anyone. YOU DO
Talk Show Host Wants America To See Actions Of 'Far Left' (His Fat ass is seeing things)
DENVER -- Talk show host Rush Limbaugh is sparking controversy again after he made comments calling for riots in Denver during the Democratic National Convention this summer. He said the riots would ensure a Democrat is not elected as president, and his listeners have a responsibility to make sure it happens. "Riots in Denver, the Democrat Convention would see to it that we don't elect Democrats," Limbaugh said during Wednesday's radio broadcast. He then went on to say that's the best thing that could happen to the country
Limbaugh cited Al Sharpton, saying the Barack Obama supporter threatened to superdelegates that "there's going to be trouble" if the presidency is taken from Obama. Several callers called in to the radio show to denounce Limbaugh's comments, when he later stated, "I am not inspiring or inciting riots, I am dreaming of riots in Denver." Limbaugh said with massive riots in Denver, which he called "Operation Chaos," the people on the far left would look bad. "There won't be riots at our convention," Limbaugh said of the Republican National Convention. "We don't riot. We don't burn our cars. We don't burn down our houses. We don't kill our children. We don't do half the things the American left does."
******************************************************************************* I'm sorry you delusional fuck ass but what drugs are you taking? It is Illegal to INCITE RIOTS . Yes, you have freedom of speech and I would fight for your , albeit IGNORANT AS HELL, right to Freedom of Speech, The 1st Amendment BUT you are INCTING RIOTS, CALL TO ARMS AGAINST YOU OWN COUNTRYMEN and anyone caught like children, AND ASKING OTHER PEOPLE TO HURT THEIR COUNTRYMEN BECAUSE YOU WANT VIOLENCE AND SEE IT AS THE ONLY WAY! Guess what you fucker? I hope you get caught in one yourself! I will leave it at that because you're calling for the possible injury of MY KID and if that happened because of YOUR words, your GOD would not be able to help you You would be what we call SIN NOMINE ass hole. So SHUT THE FUCK UP YOU SICK MENTAL CASE! (Dark Arts and VODOUN are such helpful tools to democrats. *rolls eyes*
By WE, I would guess the dumb fuck means Conservative asshates? I'm sorry , did you say you do not "kill your children?" Look at the abortion stats you are too fucking stupid to understand. MORE abortions are preformed in RED states and more RELIGIOUS Bible Belt Areas that are considered "Conservative" than in Blue states and Democratic areas. More woman whom identified themselves as Conservative Christian Housewives KILLED their children than any others in America! You must treat your women like slaves and just awful! No wonder more of them kill their kids than any religion or political party in America! More welfare is DOLED out to RED or Republican states and Conservatives areas then Blue or Democratic states. Take a look at the stats you mindless feck. How did you get your own show being as fucking uneducated as you are? Burn down your houses? More Insurance fraud is done in conservative BUSINESS areas because you fools get in over your heads and bail out at the tax payers expense and if anyone dies in the fire, too bad. So shut the fuck up .You are talking out your fat ass! Before you spunt of at your uneducated mouth, CHECK THE STATS YOU FOOL!
He believes electing Democrats will hurt America's security and economy and appeared to call on his listeners to make sure that doesn't happen. "We do, hopefully, the right thing for the sake of this country. We're the only one in charge of our affairs. We don't farm out our defense if we elect Democrats ... and riots in Denver, at the Democratic Convention will see to it we don't elect Democrats. And that's the best damn thing that can happen to this country, as far as I can think," Limbaugh said. Denver will host the DNC on Aug. 25 to Aug. 28.
Art major Aliza Shvarts '08 wants to make a statement.
Beginning next Tuesday, Shvarts will be displaying her senior art project, a documentation of a nine-month process during which she artificially inseminated herself "as often as possible" while periodically taking abortifacient drugs to induce miscarriages. Her exhibition will feature video recordings of these forced miscarriages as well as preserved collections of the blood from the process.
The goal in creating the art exhibition, Shvarts said, was to spark conversation and debate on the relationship between art and the human body. But her project has already provoked more than just debate, inciting, for instance, outcry at a forum for fellow senior art majors held last week. And when told about Shvarts' project, students on both ends of the abortion debate have expressed shock — saying the project does everything from violate moral code to trivialize abortion.
But Shvarts insists her concept was not designed for "shock value."
"I hope it inspires some sort of discourse," Shvarts said. "Sure, some people will be upset with the message and will not agree with it, but it's not the intention of the piece to scandalize anyone."
The "fabricators," or donors, of the sperm were not paid for their services, but Shvarts required them to periodically take tests for sexually transmitted diseases. She said she was not concerned about any medical effects the forced miscarriages may have had on her body. The abortifacient drugs she took were legal and herbal, she said, and she did not feel the need to consult a doctor about her repeated miscarriages.
Shvarts declined to specify the number of sperm donors she used, as well as the number of times she inseminated herself.
Art major Juan Castillo '08 said that although he was intrigued by the creativity and beauty of her senior project, not everyone was as thrilled as he was by the concept and the means by which she attained the result.
"I really loved the idea of this project, but a lot other people didn't," Castillo said. "I think that most people were very resistant to thinking about what the project was really about. [The senior-art-project forum] stopped being a conversation on the work itself."
Although Shvarts said she does not remember the class being quite as hostile as Castillo described, she said she believes it is the nature of her piece to "provoke inquiry."
"I believe strongly that art should be a medium for politics and ideologies, not just a commodity," Shvarts said. "I think that I'm creating a project that lives up to the standard of what art is supposed to be."
The display of Schvarts' project will feature a large cube suspended from the ceiling of a room in the gallery of Green Hall. Schvarts will wrap hundreds of feet of plastic sheeting around this cube; lined between layers of the sheeting will be the blood from Schvarts' self-induced miscarriages mixed with Vaseline in order to preven
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Spirits and demons, hear my call.
has offered a variety of social messages and images since its debut in
1969. Its regular characters include adults and children of different
ethnic and racial backgrounds, and it has featured characters and guest
stars with various disabilities. 
The First Principal Spirit is a King ruling in the East, called Bael. He maketh thee to go Invisible. He ruleth over 66 Legions of Infernal Spirits. He appeareth in divers shapes, sometimes like a Cat, sometimes like a Toad, and sometimes like a Man, and sometimes all these forms at once. He speaketh hoarsely. This is his character which is used to be worn as a Lamen before him who calleth him forth, or else he will not do thee homage.
AND THIS---NO! 
